Well folks, the regular season has ended for the CS FF league,which means that for 8 of us, there is nothing left to live for. Well, rejoice fellow suckfest attendees! I'm here to provide my review and grades for each team in our league. Remember, this is completely subjective, and if y'all don't dig it, then go to Hell.
The Real Deal:
DaPrez, 11-3 (A)
Great season for DaPrez. Second in total points scored, and only 2 teams had more points scored against them. However, several key players may see bench time in the next 2 weeks, which does not bode well for the playoffs.
Points, points, points:
W Boys, 9-5 (B+)
An absolute offensive juggernaut. Overall points leader- set a single week record for points in week 9 against Team Mud. And more importantly, their key players are on teams that are playing the last 2 weeks for their playoff lives. They could be the last one standing when all is said and done.
One and done:
Destroyers, 8-6 (B)
This team is not built for the playoffs. Solid regular season, but bye-bye Destroyers. See you in August.
We were really pulling for you, pal:
Team Florida 8-6 (B)
Despite nearly drafting themselves into the cellar, Team Florida management did a great job throughout the season and was narrowly shoved out of the playoffs in a tiebreaker. I personally am happy for Team Florida management, who relentlessly got their cojones broke in the past 2 seasons. Way to send a message. You beat the snot out of Team Mud. Great job, G.
You have no business being in the playoffs. I think there is some "business' going on up in here:
The Convicts 10-4 (A+)
This team scored the sixth-fewest total points, yet somehow got a #2 seed. NO teams had fewer points scored against them. I think that since it's the Commish team, some rules may have been interpreted "loosely" to benefit them, which is why they get an A+ grade. Good work. Not only that, they limped in by not scoring more than 15 points in the last 3 weeks. Good luck in the playoffs, where you will face the highest-scoring team in the league. You are the Jets to the W's Pats this week. And you're a stinky, diarrhea-filled toilet. One love, homey.
The completely unremarkables:
The Schemers 7-7 (C+)
Had the best quarterback in the history of mankind, yet was completely and utterly mediocre. It would help to own a computer. Snatched defeat from the jaws of victory several times. But of course, a rookie in this league...Look for big things next year.
The Warriors 6-8 (D)
I don't have much to say. Won big in the final week when the season was already decided. Peaked a bit too late, I guess. And this guy is a coach. God help CF.
Hot Corner 7-7 (C-)
This one scored the second fewest points in the league and ended up .500. That's good work. Or good luck. Or something. Should have been 5-9. Watch out if he figures out how to score next season.
Fat Twins on Bikes 6-7-1 (D-)
Can't believe the Randy Moss trade. That alone gets you the D-. Wait until he finds out that he can't keep Stephen Jackson since he was kept last year (I don't know if there is a rule about this- I'm just trying to stir the pot).
Simply awful:
The Fighting Amish 4-10 (F+)
I just don't know what to say. Started out real strong via "automatic draft" but quickly fell into disrepair once he actually started managing the team. Next season, let the computers do the work for you.
Captain Morgan Men 4-10 (F)
Let's look at a stat for the defending champ:
Fewest points scored. 'Nuff said. Defense does not win FF leagues. Not only did he score the fewest points, but the team that scored the next fewest (our Amish friends) outscored him by nearly 10 points per week.
And finally...
Oh, cruel fate! Why do you mock me?
or
The "Woe is me" file
Team Mud 3-10-1 (F-)
This team was slapped around more than the woman who started to freak out in Airplane! Teams were drooling when they saw that they were playing Team Mud. I make no excuses, and gave myself the worst grade because i was the worst team. However, let's do some statistical analysis here.
#9 in total points scored (that's right, i outscored 3 teams)
#12 in total points scored against. The team that had the next highest points-against total had 199 fewer points scored against them, which means that teams scored 14 more points per week against me. That's like having an extra player.
#1 in rapes by Running Backs. Thanks Mr. Alexander. Next time, use lube.
My final note:
Good luck to all in the playoffs. As always, a very fun year. I look forward to next sesaon, and Merry Christmas to all of you and your families.
My new favorite web clip:
www.collegeslackers.com/video/597
Ding fries are done!
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
