Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
"Similar to History's 2nd worst pitch: a muscle bound wrestler from Florida named simply: "Gunderwood"
Hey Nice Car, Gunderwood!!!!!!!!
long standing plans to replace mailmen are now being implemented
Monkeys control a robot arm with thoughts
By Benedict Carey
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Two monkeys with tiny sensors in their brains have learned to control a mechanical arm with just their thoughts, using it to reach for and grab food and even to adjust for the size and stickiness of morsels when necessary, scientists reported on Wednesday.
The report, released online by the journal Nature, is the most striking demonstration to date of brain-machine interface technology. Scientists expect that technology will eventually allow people with spinal cord injuries and other paralyzing conditions to gain more control over their lives.
The findings suggest that brain-controlled prosthetics, while not practical, are at least technically within reach.
In previous studies, researchers showed that humans who had been paralyzed for years could learn to control a cursor on a computer screen with their brain waves and that nonhuman primates could use their thoughts to move a mechanical arm, a robotic hand, a robot on a treadmill or a small vehicle.
The new experiment goes a step further. In it, the monkeys' brains seem to have adopted the mechanical appendage as their own, refining its movement as it interacted with real objects in real time. The monkeys had their own arms gently restrained while they learned to use the added one.
Experts not involved with the study said the findings were likely to accelerate interest in human testing, especially given the need to treat head and spinal injuries in veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.
"This study really pulls together all the pieces from earlier work and provides a clear demonstration of what's possible," said Dr. William Heetderks , director of the extramural science program at the National Institute of Biomedical Imaging and Bioengineering.
Dr. John Donoghue, director of the Institute of Brain Science at Brown University, said the new report was "important because it's the most comprehensive study showing how an animal interacts with complex objects, using only brain activity."
The researchers, from the University of Pittsburgh and Carnegie Mellon University, used monkeys partly because of their anatomical similarities to humans and partly because they are quick learners.
In the experiment, two macaques first used a joystick to gain a feel for the arm, which had shoulder joints, an elbow and a grasping claw with two mechanical fingers.
Then, just beneath the monkeys' skulls, the scientists implanted a grid about the size of a large freckle. It sat on the motor cortex, over a patch of cells known to signal arm and hand movements. The grid held 100 tiny electrodes, each connecting to a single neuron, its wires running out of the brain and to a computer.
The computer was programmed to analyze the collective firing of these 100 motor neurons, translate that sum into an electronic command and send it instantaneously to the arm, which was mounted flush with the left shoulder.
The scientists used the computer to help the monkeys move the arm at first, essentially teaching them with biofeedback.
After several days, the monkeys needed no help. They sat stationary in a chair, repeatedly manipulating the arm with their brain to reach out and grab grapes, marshmallows and other nuggets dangled in front of them. The snacks reached the mouths about two-thirds of the time — an impressive rate, compared with earlier work.
The monkeys learned to hold the grip open on approaching the food, close it just enough to hold the food and gradually loosen the grip when feeding.
On several occasions, a monkey kept its claw open on the way back, with the food stuck to one finger. At other times, a monkey moved the arm to lick the fingers clean or to push a bit of food into its mouth while ignoring a newly presented morsel.
The animals were apparently freelancing, discovering new uses for the arm, showing "displays of embodiment that would never be seen in a virtual environment," the researchers wrote.
"In the real world, things don't work as expected," said the senior author of the paper, Dr. Andrew Schwartz, a professor of neurobiology at the University of Pittsburgh. "The marshmallow sticks to your hand or the food slips, and you can't program a computer to anticipate all of that.
"But the monkeys' brains adjusted. They were licking the marshmallow off the prosthetic gripper, pushing food into their mouth, as if it were their own hand."
The co-authors were Meel Velliste, Sagi Perel, M. Chance Spalding and Andrew Whitford.
Scientists have to clear several hurdles before this technology becomes practical, experts said. Implantable electrode grids do not generally last more than a period of months, for reasons that remain unclear.
The equipment to read and transmit the signal can be cumbersome and in need of continual monitoring and recalibrating. And no one has yet demonstrated a workable wireless system that would eliminate the need for connections through the scalp.
Yet Schwartz's team, Donoghue's group and others are working on all of the problems, and the two macaques' rapid learning curve in taking ownership of a foreign limb gives scientists confidence that the main obstacles are technical and, thus, negotiable.
In an editorial accompanying the Nature study, Dr. John Kalaska, a neuroscientist at the University of Montreal, argued that after such bugs had been worked out, scientists might even discover areas of the cortex that allow more intimate, subtle control of prosthetic devices.
Such systems, Kalaska wrote, "would allow patients with severe motor deficits to interact and communicate with the world not only by the moment-to-moment control of the motion of robotic devices, but also in a more natural and intuitive manner that reflects their overall goals, needs and preferences."
By Benedict Carey
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Two monkeys with tiny sensors in their brains have learned to control a mechanical arm with just their thoughts, using it to reach for and grab food and even to adjust for the size and stickiness of morsels when necessary, scientists reported on Wednesday.
The report, released online by the journal Nature, is the most striking demonstration to date of brain-machine interface technology. Scientists expect that technology will eventually allow people with spinal cord injuries and other paralyzing conditions to gain more control over their lives.
The findings suggest that brain-controlled prosthetics, while not practical, are at least technically within reach.
In previous studies, researchers showed that humans who had been paralyzed for years could learn to control a cursor on a computer screen with their brain waves and that nonhuman primates could use their thoughts to move a mechanical arm, a robotic hand, a robot on a treadmill or a small vehicle.
The new experiment goes a step further. In it, the monkeys' brains seem to have adopted the mechanical appendage as their own, refining its movement as it interacted with real objects in real time. The monkeys had their own arms gently restrained while they learned to use the added one.
Experts not involved with the study said the findings were likely to accelerate interest in human testing, especially given the need to treat head and spinal injuries in veterans returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.
"This study really pulls together all the pieces from earlier work and provides a clear demonstration of what's possible," said Dr. William Heetderks , director of the extramural science program at the National Institute of Biomedical Imaging and Bioengineering.
Dr. John Donoghue, director of the Institute of Brain Science at Brown University, said the new report was "important because it's the most comprehensive study showing how an animal interacts with complex objects, using only brain activity."
The researchers, from the University of Pittsburgh and Carnegie Mellon University, used monkeys partly because of their anatomical similarities to humans and partly because they are quick learners.
In the experiment, two macaques first used a joystick to gain a feel for the arm, which had shoulder joints, an elbow and a grasping claw with two mechanical fingers.
Then, just beneath the monkeys' skulls, the scientists implanted a grid about the size of a large freckle. It sat on the motor cortex, over a patch of cells known to signal arm and hand movements. The grid held 100 tiny electrodes, each connecting to a single neuron, its wires running out of the brain and to a computer.
The computer was programmed to analyze the collective firing of these 100 motor neurons, translate that sum into an electronic command and send it instantaneously to the arm, which was mounted flush with the left shoulder.
The scientists used the computer to help the monkeys move the arm at first, essentially teaching them with biofeedback.
After several days, the monkeys needed no help. They sat stationary in a chair, repeatedly manipulating the arm with their brain to reach out and grab grapes, marshmallows and other nuggets dangled in front of them. The snacks reached the mouths about two-thirds of the time — an impressive rate, compared with earlier work.
The monkeys learned to hold the grip open on approaching the food, close it just enough to hold the food and gradually loosen the grip when feeding.
On several occasions, a monkey kept its claw open on the way back, with the food stuck to one finger. At other times, a monkey moved the arm to lick the fingers clean or to push a bit of food into its mouth while ignoring a newly presented morsel.
The animals were apparently freelancing, discovering new uses for the arm, showing "displays of embodiment that would never be seen in a virtual environment," the researchers wrote.
"In the real world, things don't work as expected," said the senior author of the paper, Dr. Andrew Schwartz, a professor of neurobiology at the University of Pittsburgh. "The marshmallow sticks to your hand or the food slips, and you can't program a computer to anticipate all of that.
"But the monkeys' brains adjusted. They were licking the marshmallow off the prosthetic gripper, pushing food into their mouth, as if it were their own hand."
The co-authors were Meel Velliste, Sagi Perel, M. Chance Spalding and Andrew Whitford.
Scientists have to clear several hurdles before this technology becomes practical, experts said. Implantable electrode grids do not generally last more than a period of months, for reasons that remain unclear.
The equipment to read and transmit the signal can be cumbersome and in need of continual monitoring and recalibrating. And no one has yet demonstrated a workable wireless system that would eliminate the need for connections through the scalp.
Yet Schwartz's team, Donoghue's group and others are working on all of the problems, and the two macaques' rapid learning curve in taking ownership of a foreign limb gives scientists confidence that the main obstacles are technical and, thus, negotiable.
In an editorial accompanying the Nature study, Dr. John Kalaska, a neuroscientist at the University of Montreal, argued that after such bugs had been worked out, scientists might even discover areas of the cortex that allow more intimate, subtle control of prosthetic devices.
Such systems, Kalaska wrote, "would allow patients with severe motor deficits to interact and communicate with the world not only by the moment-to-moment control of the motion of robotic devices, but also in a more natural and intuitive manner that reflects their overall goals, needs and preferences."
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Drunkology
The History of Drunks
Drunkology is the study of the history of drunks. A burgeoning field, it is
now taught at some of the finer institutions in the US, led by Johnson and
Wales. Recently, 60 minutes found a student in one of these "classes", who
is also a member of the secretive Club sub organization, and interviewed
him in order to learn about drunkology and put some recent Club Sub events
in perspective. Here is the interview with that member, who prefers to be
called "Deep Drunk"
1. Reporter: "Deep Drunk: what did you learn most about your experience?"
Deep drunk: "JWU kids smoke tons of weed."
2. Reporter: "Well beyond that, what did you learn about drunkology?"
Deep Drunk: "Oh that. Pretty interesting. I learned about the forms of
drunkenness, and some famous celebrities who fit those descriptions. For
example, under the "happy drunk" profile, ie those people who get happier
and friendlier when drunk, you have such historical luminaries as, well
actually none come to mind right now. Oh yes Nixon, was a happy drunk."
Reporter: "Nixon?
Deep Drunk: "Yes, keep in mind its "happier than they usually were" Other
examples of happy drunks include Priests, Mayor Cicilline, and every gay man
as well. And ARod. The second category are "mean drunks" These are
personalities prone to get meaner with alcohol. Generally this includes
Doctors, Senators, Lesbians and Athletes. Classic studies include: Dr Ruth,
Ted Kennedy and Ellen Degeneres. From the sports world, Billy Martin, the
Mick, Whitey Ford, Lou Pinella, actually the entire Yankee franchise except
for A Rod. Also Dustin Diamond and Sherman Helmsley, were notorious mean
drunks."
Reporter: "You mean Screech and Mr Jefferson?"
Deep Drunk: That's right, in fact Sherman came up with the name Wheezy in a
drunken stupor after drinking 3 bottles of malt liquor, in which he blamed
her for falling ratings and is alleged to have said: "if you don't get in
shape and quit smoking, I'll fire your wheezin ass."
Reporter: " Wow, interesting. Any other observations?"
Deep Drunk: "Yes we also learned about the little known 3rd chromosome that
creates the worst kind of drunk, and we learned the typical profile of that
person."
Reporter: "Please go on, I'm fascinated by the absurdity of this"
Deep Drunk: "The 3rd chromosome is known as the "doom" chromosome. It
strikes about 1 out of 1000 people, though interestingly enough 1 out of 10
Yankee fans and 1 out of 3 postal workers."
Reporter: "My God what would happen if a yankee fan was a postal worker?"
Deep Drunk: "Well we see the results of that constantly whether its the
random post office massacre ie. the phrase "going postal" or the Yankee fan
who "falls" onto the field from the upper balcony.
Reporter: "Interesting and yet good for society. Now what traits do these
people posses?"
Deep Drunk: "Well very similar traits in fact. They are generally front
runners, they like winners like the Cowboys, Yankees, and the Republican
Party. Also they prefer repetitive tasks which is why they are often
fisherman, mailman, chronic masturbators, or sometimes all three. They tend
to be a bit unhappy on the home front, preferring the "good old" days,
though no one is quite sure those days were actually that good.
Reporter: " So could you explain quickly, as my train is coming in and this
is getting tedious, what happens when the "doom" chromosome gets drunk?"
Deep Drunk: "Yes, let me point to some historical events to put this in
context. Lee Harvey Oswald: Cowboy fan, bookstore worker, republican, gets
drunk and kills a president. Bill Parcells, cowboy fan, coach, republican,
gets drunk and throws the Pats superbowl vs the Packers. Ted Kazinsky, aka
the Unabomber, Laker fan, chronic masturbator, fly fisherman, ultra
Republican, gets drunk and blows things up......thru the post office!.
Reverend Wright, Yankee fan, preacher, gets so drunk one day he wakes up and
thinks he's a Republican and attempts to destroy Obama. In Club sub we see
some parallels. Teaching, a repetitive task if there ever was one, is a
breeding ground for "doom" We see some epic doomed decisions from this
crowd. How about the President buying a horse and keeping it indoors, then
telling everyone its actually a dog. And those shirts "that guy" wears. Or
the fact that some members have negative credit scores. Or the fact that one
member hasn't seen a doctor since he was 7, because the last time he went he
got a thermometer in "the bad place" Or the fact that one member bought a
house with a hole in the backyard the size of Rosie Odonnell's vageen. Or
the fact that one member fled to Canada on fears he'd be drafted for this
Iraq war, he's 36. Or the fact that one ex member calls himself Ypac and
claims that Tom Cruise is of mixed Asian decent. Or Yung Flanagan running a
pass route into the pavement. But of all those epic cases of the doom
chromosome causing bad decisions, by far the worst recurring case can be
seen in the Human Rain Delay (HRD). The HRD is worse than Mantle, Mr Jefferson and
Oswald combined. He is rumored to have used his gratuitous phrase "go fuck
your face" at parent teacher night, communion, and a Hanna Montana concert.
His displays at poker tournaments are equally shameful. He is known to show
the whole table his cards, yet still make a bet, because "no one knows what
I'm thinking though". He drinks Scotch in quantities that would make Dudley
Moore cringe. He gets over emotional and crosses into the gay ecstasy zone
of let me hug and kiss you even though you're a guy. He slows down to sloth
type speed, a speed so slow it makes other postal workers envious. He
constantly checks his phone as it blasts the ring tone to Kashmir, though no
one is quite sure who's calling a mailman at 2:00 am on a Saturday night.
Reporter: " Wow well how do you combat that annoying, hideous, farm animal,
hope my kids don't turn out that way but my sister in law's do, type
behavior?"
Deep Drunk: "Well first of all we combat it by only seeing him 4 times a
year, it takes about 3 months to recover. Secondly we combated it by
maintaining a very high entrance exam for his potential admission to club
sub. You know the senior leadership council is often criticized for not
maintaining the same entrance standards for each member. For example one
recent member "just" had to go a day without eating burger king (though for
this member this was actually a herculean task). Whereas HRD's hurdle would
appear to be higher. However after all we've just discussed on his doom
chromosome, which by the way is a recessive gene, what better entrance exam
than to prevent any further Doom carriers to populate the earth.
Reporter: "Wait are you saying what I think you're saying?"
Deep Drunk: "Yes, his entrance exam was to get a vasectomy."
Reporter: "And there you have it folks, drunkology, its current forms,
traits, and a frightening secretive cult type organization that requires a
vasectomy to enter. However uncivilized, archaic or barbaric that may seem,
I must say that in this case, its probably deserved because frankly, that
HRD sounds like a big douche bag.
I'm Ed Bradley signing off for 60 minutes and yes I'm dead and that old man
Mike Wallace outlived me. He drinks the blood of young puppies I tell you!
Drunkology is the study of the history of drunks. A burgeoning field, it is
now taught at some of the finer institutions in the US, led by Johnson and
Wales. Recently, 60 minutes found a student in one of these "classes", who
is also a member of the secretive Club sub organization, and interviewed
him in order to learn about drunkology and put some recent Club Sub events
in perspective. Here is the interview with that member, who prefers to be
called "Deep Drunk"
1. Reporter: "Deep Drunk: what did you learn most about your experience?"
Deep drunk: "JWU kids smoke tons of weed."
2. Reporter: "Well beyond that, what did you learn about drunkology?"
Deep Drunk: "Oh that. Pretty interesting. I learned about the forms of
drunkenness, and some famous celebrities who fit those descriptions. For
example, under the "happy drunk" profile, ie those people who get happier
and friendlier when drunk, you have such historical luminaries as, well
actually none come to mind right now. Oh yes Nixon, was a happy drunk."
Reporter: "Nixon?
Deep Drunk: "Yes, keep in mind its "happier than they usually were" Other
examples of happy drunks include Priests, Mayor Cicilline, and every gay man
as well. And ARod. The second category are "mean drunks" These are
personalities prone to get meaner with alcohol. Generally this includes
Doctors, Senators, Lesbians and Athletes. Classic studies include: Dr Ruth,
Ted Kennedy and Ellen Degeneres. From the sports world, Billy Martin, the
Mick, Whitey Ford, Lou Pinella, actually the entire Yankee franchise except
for A Rod. Also Dustin Diamond and Sherman Helmsley, were notorious mean
drunks."
Reporter: "You mean Screech and Mr Jefferson?"
Deep Drunk: That's right, in fact Sherman came up with the name Wheezy in a
drunken stupor after drinking 3 bottles of malt liquor, in which he blamed
her for falling ratings and is alleged to have said: "if you don't get in
shape and quit smoking, I'll fire your wheezin ass."
Reporter: " Wow, interesting. Any other observations?"
Deep Drunk: "Yes we also learned about the little known 3rd chromosome that
creates the worst kind of drunk, and we learned the typical profile of that
person."
Reporter: "Please go on, I'm fascinated by the absurdity of this"
Deep Drunk: "The 3rd chromosome is known as the "doom" chromosome. It
strikes about 1 out of 1000 people, though interestingly enough 1 out of 10
Yankee fans and 1 out of 3 postal workers."
Reporter: "My God what would happen if a yankee fan was a postal worker?"
Deep Drunk: "Well we see the results of that constantly whether its the
random post office massacre ie. the phrase "going postal" or the Yankee fan
who "falls" onto the field from the upper balcony.
Reporter: "Interesting and yet good for society. Now what traits do these
people posses?"
Deep Drunk: "Well very similar traits in fact. They are generally front
runners, they like winners like the Cowboys, Yankees, and the Republican
Party. Also they prefer repetitive tasks which is why they are often
fisherman, mailman, chronic masturbators, or sometimes all three. They tend
to be a bit unhappy on the home front, preferring the "good old" days,
though no one is quite sure those days were actually that good.
Reporter: " So could you explain quickly, as my train is coming in and this
is getting tedious, what happens when the "doom" chromosome gets drunk?"
Deep Drunk: "Yes, let me point to some historical events to put this in
context. Lee Harvey Oswald: Cowboy fan, bookstore worker, republican, gets
drunk and kills a president. Bill Parcells, cowboy fan, coach, republican,
gets drunk and throws the Pats superbowl vs the Packers. Ted Kazinsky, aka
the Unabomber, Laker fan, chronic masturbator, fly fisherman, ultra
Republican, gets drunk and blows things up......thru the post office!.
Reverend Wright, Yankee fan, preacher, gets so drunk one day he wakes up and
thinks he's a Republican and attempts to destroy Obama. In Club sub we see
some parallels. Teaching, a repetitive task if there ever was one, is a
breeding ground for "doom" We see some epic doomed decisions from this
crowd. How about the President buying a horse and keeping it indoors, then
telling everyone its actually a dog. And those shirts "that guy" wears. Or
the fact that some members have negative credit scores. Or the fact that one
member hasn't seen a doctor since he was 7, because the last time he went he
got a thermometer in "the bad place" Or the fact that one member bought a
house with a hole in the backyard the size of Rosie Odonnell's vageen. Or
the fact that one member fled to Canada on fears he'd be drafted for this
Iraq war, he's 36. Or the fact that one ex member calls himself Ypac and
claims that Tom Cruise is of mixed Asian decent. Or Yung Flanagan running a
pass route into the pavement. But of all those epic cases of the doom
chromosome causing bad decisions, by far the worst recurring case can be
seen in the Human Rain Delay (HRD). The HRD is worse than Mantle, Mr Jefferson and
Oswald combined. He is rumored to have used his gratuitous phrase "go fuck
your face" at parent teacher night, communion, and a Hanna Montana concert.
His displays at poker tournaments are equally shameful. He is known to show
the whole table his cards, yet still make a bet, because "no one knows what
I'm thinking though". He drinks Scotch in quantities that would make Dudley
Moore cringe. He gets over emotional and crosses into the gay ecstasy zone
of let me hug and kiss you even though you're a guy. He slows down to sloth
type speed, a speed so slow it makes other postal workers envious. He
constantly checks his phone as it blasts the ring tone to Kashmir, though no
one is quite sure who's calling a mailman at 2:00 am on a Saturday night.
Reporter: " Wow well how do you combat that annoying, hideous, farm animal,
hope my kids don't turn out that way but my sister in law's do, type
behavior?"
Deep Drunk: "Well first of all we combat it by only seeing him 4 times a
year, it takes about 3 months to recover. Secondly we combated it by
maintaining a very high entrance exam for his potential admission to club
sub. You know the senior leadership council is often criticized for not
maintaining the same entrance standards for each member. For example one
recent member "just" had to go a day without eating burger king (though for
this member this was actually a herculean task). Whereas HRD's hurdle would
appear to be higher. However after all we've just discussed on his doom
chromosome, which by the way is a recessive gene, what better entrance exam
than to prevent any further Doom carriers to populate the earth.
Reporter: "Wait are you saying what I think you're saying?"
Deep Drunk: "Yes, his entrance exam was to get a vasectomy."
Reporter: "And there you have it folks, drunkology, its current forms,
traits, and a frightening secretive cult type organization that requires a
vasectomy to enter. However uncivilized, archaic or barbaric that may seem,
I must say that in this case, its probably deserved because frankly, that
HRD sounds like a big douche bag.
I'm Ed Bradley signing off for 60 minutes and yes I'm dead and that old man
Mike Wallace outlived me. He drinks the blood of young puppies I tell you!
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