Mud's 2008 Club Sub Fantasy Football Postmortem

Greetings CS members and friends, and Happy Holidays! Mud's back again to berate you all.

As I was counting out my winnings from this year's CSFFL (winner and top point-scorer), I thought it would be fun to post an end-of-year report. I'll break down each team, their luck (or lack thereof) and basically sum up my feelings in memoir form. We'll break it down by season-end finish.

1. Mud's Team- flat-out untouchable. Lost a few games due to Tony Romo's injury, but otherwise, a dominating performance. Be sure to visit the Records area at the beginning of next season, because this team captured several of them.
GM grade: A+. Expect anything less? A mid-year deal with the Rat and That Guy got him Larry Fitzgerald in exchange for DeAngelo Williams. This was a great deal for both teams. Mud was deep at RB, weak at wideout, and Fitzie put this team over the top. Props to the WBs for this one. You ended up with the best RB in the league. Makes it interesting come keeper time, doesn't it?
Avg points per game: 120.4.

2. Del's Destroyers- I have to give this team props here. Made it to the finals, and that is commendable. I am proud of you.
But in fairness to Tilt, this was more matchups than anything else...
Also, and only because you were talking smack, I have to justify my feeling that the Frank Gore-Kurt Warner/Lee Evans deal was not a good deal for you. See here's the thing- there are many more good QBs in Fantasy than RBs. Therefore, if you have a good running back, you MUST keep him, unless you were 5 deep, like I was.
Breakdown:
Avg points for Del's Destroyers, pre-trade: 97
Avg points for Del's Destroyers, post-trade: 87
That said, again, you made it to the finals, and that is commendable. I'm not trying to take that away from you.
GM Grade: B-. Other than that deal, I felt you did a solid job, and drafted well....
WTF Moment of the Year: in the final, Warner (who you had) struggled against the Pats. They pulled him. Leinart (his replacement) then threw a TD to pass to Larry Fitzgerald, who I had. Wouldn't have made a difference, but WTF?
Avg points per game: 92.5

3. Ward Boys- as usual, made a run at it. You guys don't give up, and I give you credit for that. You got unlucky in the playoffs. You made a great deal for DA Williams- again, a deal that helped both teams. I don't know what else to say, other than "You see, we're putting cover sheets on our TPS reports now."
GM Grade: A.
Avg points per game: 112

4. Fighting Amish- Where the Hell did this guy come from? Apparently 8-5-1 was good enough for the playoffs? Our league is crap...At one point, had the 2 best RBs in the league in Braber and Portis and then inexplicably, he GOT BETTER AS THEY GOT WORSE. I'm interested to see who gets kept here...
GM Grade: C. Good draft, but not much else. But made the playoffs, and there is something to be said for that....
Avg points per game: 89.6

5. Tilt's Team- A blatant miscarriage of justice. You been...Hoodwinked! Bamboozeled! How did this team not make the playoffs? Matchups, apparently. Just unfortunate. However, karma was not on your side after you made the Warner-Gore deal. The Blue Man was displeased with you, Malachi. (that's from "Children of the Corn". Malachi was played by Courney Gains, one of the greatest teen-character actors in history..He was awesome in "Colors".) http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0301381/.
Seriously, though...Honestly one of the best performances for a non-playoff-making-team EVER.
GM Grade: A-. Deserved better after stealing Gore in exchange for his backup QB.
Avg points per game: (BC- don't read this, it'll only make you angry) : 116.

6. DaPrez- Performed admirably, but was killed by the demise of LT as a running back. Sad to see. DaPrez hitched his wagon to San Diego's offense, which turned into Amodie and Sons Builders down the stretch. Good news, though- you get to participate in the draft lottery! Whoo-hoo! Now you get to be as miserable as the rest of us when you see the 8th pick with your name on it (known as the Al Conca memorial draft pick). But at least you won this league once and you can tell me to screw. Good times! Question- who will you keep? My bet is on Ronnie Brown. I don't see anyone else there...Maybe Rivers, but he raped you in the shower after he paid off the guards...
GM Grade: C-. Wanted to go with D here, but it's not entirely your fault...
Avg points per game: 109.9 (what's the matter? Not good enough to get to 110? Ha ha!)

7. Hot Corner- It appears his team did retire midway thru the season, as I suspected they would. Somehow this team was high man twice this season, which is astounding. This team needs a complete overhaul, which, as it turns out, happens to every team. What a bunch of stiffs.
GM Grade: D - His head coach should be fired, a la Mangini...
Avg points per game: 94.4

8. The Clapp- Burns while urinating. Ha ha! Always wanted to use that one. Hung in there in his first season. Managed to get thru the death of Larry Johnson, the up and down season of Brian Westbrook, and Wes Welkers consistent weekly stat line of 10 catches, 103 yards, and no touchdowns.
GM Grade: D-. but hey, he is the new guy. Cut him some slack.
Avg points per game: 94.4

9. Club Sub Convicts- you know that heads are going to roll this offseason. He's going to run out and sign Mark Texiera, CC Sabathia, and AJ Burnett. Expect big money to come rolling out of his wallet like a dust-covered condom. What he should do is save his money and use it to purchase a new back. He's got no one that I would keep, that's for sure...
GM Grade: L. L is for LOSER. Cuz that's what he is - a LOSER. He's a big LOSER. Or it could be for "Legislation". That's right, folks- expect new rules this offseason that benefit him only. Like, "The Commish gets the number 1 pick".
Avg points per game: 93

10. Warriors- This team had a pitiful year. It took 11 weeks for Peyton Manning to round into form, and by that time, it was too late. Ladell Betts got a start for him. Ladell Betts! What happened, Tony Collins wasn't available? He does have some talent to keep however- Roddy White emerged as Matt Ryan's favorite target. Whoa, stop the presses! CF could have beaten this team this year.
GM Grade: F
Avg points per game: 90.4

11. The Schemers- Victimized by the Tom Brady injury and Tom Cruise (Tom Cruise!) as a Nazi officer, this team just never got going. Maurice Jones-Drew once again f'd a FF owner. On the good side, I finally finished "Battle Cry of Freedom" by James McPherson, and will have it in the car so the next time I see you I will give it to you. Also, if you haven't read "Team of Rivals" by Doris Kearns-Goodwin, I highly recommend it. It's a detailed look at Lincoln's cabinet and how their mutual hatred of one another resulted in a very effective dynamic. Did you read the other McPherson book about Lincoln as a commander-in-chief? I forgot the name of it, and was hoping you could let me know if it's worth picking up.
GM Grade: E+
Avg points per game: 97.6

12. Cosmo Kramer ASSMAN- This guy has 2 claims to fame. Great avatars, and he beat Mud this year in one of the biggest fiascos of the season. Randy Moss had 629 yards and 12 touchdowns that game, and ASSMAN beat Mud by 2 points. Yikes. What a horrendous season for this guy. He didn't draft a single starting RB. In this league, this means that your team will not be very good. Tomorrow we'll talk about shapes and colors!
GM Grade: F He would have had a Q, but the avitars were just too good.
Avg points per game: 80.4. I'm speechless.

So there you have it folks...Happy New Year to all, and to all a good night. Please feel free to blow it on out your ass, m'kay?