Mud's Profile of the Month

Fic, our Secretary of Defense, is an avid inventor. He claims to be the man behind Velcro, the automobile, and those zip-tie thingys you use to bind up wiring....In his spare time, he attends cockfights, and practices "body-painting" where he covers his naked body in paint and leaps up against a six-foot wall of canvas...his last work sold for $8.25, and was called "I Just Don't Give a Fic".