Party Awards

Some awards for the party

1. Most horrified by the events-non member: Tied: Katie V. (present) and Jen R. (absent)
2. Most horrified by the events-member: Reiles
3. Most confusing moment: "I pick, …. Father Paul, Father Paul??
4. Most business impact: Heffenreffer stock shot up this week on record sales.
5. Most surprising sighting: many people saw for the first time that The Postman is married
6. Most insightful question/observation, tied: Katie V. "is all the music going to be rap?" Anonymous: "Got to know the first lady a bit, she's got a pretty foul mouth"
7. Most popular food item I found most frequently throughout the house the next 2 days: whole limes
8. Best scene reminiscent from the "hangover". The next morning, me thinking my 120 quart cooler full of beer had been stolen off the deck. Except it had been on the fireplace. So then I thought it was stolen off the fireplace, which meant someone walked in during the night to take it. Dumbfounded for hours at its disappearance, I stumbled upon it in the basement, where it had apparently been moved for poker. No one recalls moving it there.
9. Best devoted soldier award: tied, 3 way: Clout, skipping parents anniversary, Reiles, skipping wife's birthday, Schemer, gutting it out while sick as a dog.
10. Most likely to be arrested on way home: tie, 3 way: The Beerman (outstanding warrants), The Postman-DWI, The Hitman-kidnapping Mud by forcibly restraining him in the back seat (ask Mud the story)
11. Most asked question: 3 way tie "who is that?" reference to the beerman, "Is that Harvey Milk?"-reference to the beerman, "what does rat fucked mean?"-reference to the Mud incident, "when can we leave?" reference to any number of wives.
12. Worst partier: The Rat's wife-sleeping on couch.
13. Worst unintentional comedy: Frank White's wife: "Matt last time I saw you you hadn't shaved your head."
14. Best Cornhole player: Big Sloppy (no joke needed)

Planning has already begun for 2014 and the 25 year extravaganza. Looking forward, here is a likely snapshot of the future as the 25th initiations are delivered:
1. Fic realizes that he has pro baseball player spermazoa when his son is drafted as a 10 year old. Unfortunately, Fic is out of the baby making business as he got his BALLS CUT OFF IN 2009.
2. Upon receiving the initiation, Jen R. asks Chris: I thought I told you to change your phone number and email address.
3. Katie asks Dave: isn't it enough we have to see the Hitman on the holidays?
4. Matt C. is now a professional fund raiser and has replaced Jerry Lewis on the telethon. Ironically the French hate him however.
5. Big Sloppy is still planning to get engaged. Remember no rush, take it from us.
6. Father M's parish has now been moved to Central Falls, as the church continues to try and get him to quit. Next assignment: Afghanistan.

7. Mud, continuing to try for a boy but denying it, now has 5 daughters.
8. Stamps are now more expensive than a bottle of heffenreffer, yet da mailman still has a job.
9. Frank White has now moved into the State House, not because of politics but just for "a bit more room"
10. Clap: