Apparently the Wikileaks have infiltrated even a high security establishment like Club sub. Club Sub blog's web server is encrypted with a complex password system (password is: clubsub) and yet they still broke in and intercepted our "wires". It’s expected these stories will hit the news on Monday morning if Assange isn't freed so that he can continue to poke holes in condoms. Here is the dirt they have on Clubsub-the words in quotes are transcribed directly from the wires.
1. President's dog "Barkley" did not die, confused dog is now called "Cyrus", (hence his poor listening). Just a "publicity stunt to gather sympathy with the populace".
2. All this time, That Guy was actually married to someone else, but she was "no better"
3. Schemer "actually Jewish"
4. Big Sloppy's poker secrets revealed: "he never bluffs"
5. The Hit Man does not actually teach at St Rae's. "Cmon does anyone really think I wake up at 630am day after day?"
6. Tilt says "best thing he ever did was Geico Car Insurance"
7. Mud reveals "I went on vacation for one week in 1989 and House of Moy closed because of it"
8. The Rat known for "Brevity" at work
9. DV "not actually related" to Hit Man
10. Mailman "loves wife with all his heart", "eff club sub and the VP especially" "is there any more jack daniels left at this effing communion party?"
11. VP gives "nearly everything" to "Charity".
12. "Charity" a dancer at a local club, is suing for more child support. Says: "he's a cheap bastard"
13. Clap's wife says “won’t shut the eff up when we're in bed"
14. Fic says "fans who wear nfl jerseys are gay"
15. Club sub Sound "a huge Ponzi scheme, but unintentionally so"
16. Clout "changing phone # because Da Prez is a nuisance"
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